


Anataha Watashi no Taiyou

by Instrumentalist



Series: Tragedy Without Despair — Dangan Ronpa [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair, Dangan Ronpa & Super Dangan Ronpa 2 Spoilers, Dangan Ronpa 3 Spoilers, Diary/Journal, F/M, Lost Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-10-10 22:16:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10448736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Instrumentalist/pseuds/Instrumentalist
Summary: Hajime is gone. Hope's Peak has been shut down. The world is in ruin. Chiaki doesn't know what to do.





	1. No Save File Found

1 March 2030

It’s true. Hope’s Peak isn’t coming back.

I walked by it this morning. It was depressing to look at. There was rubble everywhere. The gates were twisted open and hanging off their hinges. There were gray scrapes in the concrete where they’d been dragged back and forth across it.

The fountain isn’t running anymore. I sat down in our usual spot and played video games for a few minutes, but you didn’t come. I don’t know why I thought you would. Maybe I thought the sounds of my game would make you appear.

I haven’t seen Not-You again. He disappeared after the school shut down. Gods know what he’s doing. I’m not sure I want to know.

All of my classmates have scattered. I just moved back to our old neighbourhood yesterday, and as far as I know I’m the only one of us less than ten miles from Hope’s Peak. The one who’s closest to me is Fuyuhiko (I think), and he’s underground right now. His yakuza clan is trying to re-establish some sort of order in the city since the government collapsed. I haven’t seen anything permanent yet.

People think Not-You is responsible for this. It’s hard not to believe them. He’s not helping us. But he isn’t hurting us either. He’s just… watching.

He isn’t the Ultimate Hope. Ultimate Hope would help.

I’m going to see if there’s an abandoned house I can move my stuff into today. I don’t have much that people want, but I can’t roam like a lot of people are. I know where food and drinkable water are, so all I need is a roof and four walls. It’s like an RPG.

I wish this was an RPG.

* * *

2 March 2030

I found a place. I think.

It’s about two hours away from Hope’s Peak ~~if you walk~~ no matter how you want to get there, you have to walk. It’s one room, but it has a door with a working lock and a bed, which is all I need. I’m going to stay here as long as I can.

I’m really glad there’s still power in this area.

* * *

3 March 2030

Night 1 was successful. None of my stuff is gone and I’m not hurt.

I kinda wonder what it would be like if you were still around. Would you be here with me?

I like to think you’d be with me.

There’s flyers popping up in my neighbourhood now. They say that Fuyuhiko is sending yakuza to patrol the streets so there’s less risk of getting attacked. It’s weird to think of yakuza being police, but everything’s weird now. Like Hope’s Peak being dead. And you being gone.

Maybe I should try to find Fuyuhiko. We could do something together here to fix things up.

* * *

4 March 2030

The problem with no cars is that it takes way too long to walk from here to the center of the city. You have to stockpile your food and eat less of it while you’re getting enough to make the trip. I never thought that forgetting to eat back then would come in handy now, but it makes it a lot easier to make food last.

I think I’ll find one of Fuyuhiko’s yakuza today and ask where he is so we can meet up. I’d like to see him again. I hope he’d like to see me.

I stopped by the fountain again today. I played some games. You didn’t show up. I didn’t cry this time.

I really really miss you.

I wish you were here.

* * *

5 March 2030

Operation Find A Yakuza went according to plan. Operation Find Out Where Fuyuhiko Is failed. Apparently he’s keeping his hideout a secret, even from me. I understand but it still stings.

The house is still holding strong. The streets are quieter than I expected here, so it might just be because nobody’s bothering to break in. I’m not going to tempt fate on that one, though.

I think I need to find people who are willing to talk to me here. That yakuza was the first person I’ve spoken to in months, and my voice was so so raspy. I need to get back into the habit of talking again.

It would be so much nicer if Ms. Yukizome was here. I miss talking to her. She would know exactly how to cheer me up. You met her, right? When we first met? She was the one with the red hair and the apron who chased down Ryota’s double. I think she would’ve liked you.

I miss you and it kills me how much I still miss you. Why does it still hurt so much?

* * *

6 March 2030

I talked to that yakuza I found yesterday. I didn’t ask where Fuyuhiko is this time, I just tried to strike up a conversation. It lasted about five minutes before my voice gave out and I had to go back to the house. His name is Kyuuta. He seemed nice. I was surprised he was willing to talk just because. I thought he would be really stern and say he couldn’t talk while he was on patrol, but he was actually pretty cool with it. I think I should start talking to him more regularly. It’ll help me get my voice back and maybe I’ll become friends with him.

Still no break-ins. I’m glad the streak is still going, but I’m getting nervous. This is a pretty long stretch of silence for me, I’m waiting for it to break.

I thought a lot about Not-You today. I wonder what he would think of my attempt to find Fuyuhiko again. I also wonder what he would think of you. What would you think of him?

That’s a stupid question. I know you wouldn’t like him. He’s not who you wanted to be.

They lied to you and now you’re gone and I can never see you again and it’s not  fair.

* * *

7 March 2030

It’s one week until my birthday. I’ll be 20.

I’m one week away from no longer being a teenager.

I should see if there’s a way to make myself a cake. Maybe I’ll ask Kyuuta when I see him. I wanted to make a cake on your birthday but I was all the way out by Mt. Kobu-shigatake then, so I couldn’t. Maybe for your next birthday I can.

If I can get a cake for next week I’ll bring a piece for you with me to the fountain. Will you come to eat it with me?

I miss you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to a Tragedy without despair, where the world fell but can be rebuilt.


	2. Tanjoubi Omedetou Gozaimasu, Nanami-chan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fell into Tumblr. It took years, but it happened. If you wanna follow, I'm at horriblesigor.tumblr.com

8 March 2030

Kyuuta says there’s a bakery about 6 hours from us. I’ll head over there tomorrow and see about getting a cake.

I’m really glad that the city’s rebuilding. I remember when things were at their worst a couple years ago. I was all the way in Kuzumaki, way up north. No power, no running water, food was really hard to find. Everybody was really scared. I’d left all my things behind here, so all I had were the clothes on my back, and I was basically on a diet of scrap meat and berries. I had to eat my wallet pretty early on. Turns out if it’s leather, you can eat it. I don’t remember what it tasted like.

Things got better last year. I think that’s when everybody sort of shook off everything that happened during the Tragedy and started actively rebuilding. Funny how a year changes your perspective on things. But all the perspective in the world can’t change how many people died, Ultimates and regular people alike.

Still safe and sound in the house. I’m getting more and more paranoid every day, so maybe finding a way to make the house more secure is the next objective on my list, after the cake. Or maybe that should be reversed, security first and then cake.

I’ll try for both.

* * *

9 March 2030

Good news: The bakery makes cakes. Bad news: I have no money to buy one. I’ve been doing a solo run so long that I ran out and never needed more. So that’s the new primary objective: get enough money to buy a cake. I don’t feel comfortable asking Kyuuta for money, so I’ll have to find some other way. The good thing about being back in a city is that you can make a few yen pretty easily if you’re willing to do odd jobs and people are willing to trust strangers, which they do a lot more than pre-Tragedy. Mutual struggling makes it a lot easier to connect.

The cake I want to buy is 1525 yen, which shouldn’t be that hard to get. I can probably make that in a day or two. I have to wait to actually buy the cake anyway, since I don’t have a fridge.

I forgot how nice it is to be around people. It reminds me of being with my classmates again. And also of being with you.

I miss you.

* * *

10 March 2030

I made 1000 yen today. 525 to go.

I walked around town for the first couple of hours. I found a couple about 10 minutes from my house who offered me 1000 yen in exchange for reinforcing their fence. It wasn’t incredibly hard. Maybe if it was two years ago I would’ve had trouble, but I’ve gotten stronger since two years ago. Living off the land makes you tough, no matter how weak and/or smol you were when you started.

Side note, can I just say I’ve really fallen in love with the word “smol”? I know I’m really late to the party but it’s a really great Internet word. It’s the perfect way to describe about half of my favourite characters. I feel like you would use it to describe me, since you have about 10 centimeters on me. You could use my head as a chinrest.

Oh, I never told you what kind of cake I’m getting! It’s a Black Forest Cake (but it might be a lie).

I talked some more with Kyuuta today. I found out that he likes vanilla more than chocolate. I told him chocolate is clearly superior, but he doesn’t believe me. Should I give him a piece of cake anyway? He never said he  didn’tlike chocolate. I’ll ask him tomorrow.

He also told me that there’s a lot of places to look for a more permanent job around here, so I can afford to be a little picky about where I go. I’ll let you know where I end up.

I wonder if any of my classmates came back here besides Fuyuhiko. It would be nice to see them again.

You’re still not showing up at the fountain. I don’t mind. I’ll still keep going.

* * *

11 March 2030

1525 yen get! The cake will be mine.

I helped a guy down the street bring some furniture over to his friend’s house. He had a working TV and console, so we played games for a little bit. I made sure to let him win a few times.

Did you ever wish I’d let you win? Or would you feel like I was pitying you and just feel worse about the whole thing?

I wish you’d talked to me before you left. I know you didn’t think it’d end like this, but it still hurts.

* * *

12 March 2030

I asked Kyuuta if he wanted a slice of cake. He said yes, so that makes at least 3 slices that’ll be eaten on Day 1, counting me and you as well. I’ll go to the bakery and buy the cake tomorrow, then pick it up the next morning, so we’ll eat around 4ish. I hope that works for you.

I did a little job-hunting today, and yeah, Kyuuta was right, there’s a lot to choose from. I’m thinking I’ll try to find something in the computer area of things. I’ve built a couple computers of my own before, maybe I can make something out of that.

I haven’t forgotten about trying to find Fuyuhiko, don’t worry. I’m gonna do something about that soon.

Missing you.

* * *

13 March 2030

Cake bought! I’m feeling really good today. 20’s only a few hours away now!

Kyuuta showed me some pictures of his family today. He’s married and has a 5-year-old son named Satoru. Satoru’s a cutie, he’s got an ahoge like yours. They all look really happy together. I’m glad that he’s with Fuyuhiko’s clan and not somebody else’s, he’s got a good boss (not something I would usually call a yakuza, but Fuyuhiko’s a good person).

I played a little Mario Party to get into the birthday spirit. Good idea. There’s not a lot of cheerful stuff outside, but video games still put a smile on my face.

I’ll see you tomorrow? Miss you.

* * *

14 March 2030

You didn’t come today.


	3. Your Inventory Is Too Full

15 March 2030

It was unfair of me to expect you’d be able to make it. I’m sorry.

The cake was really good. I can’t save your slice for very long, but I’ll save it for last just in case.  ~~ Who am I kidding, you’re never~~ I hope you understand if I have to get rid of it.

Today hasn’t been a good day. I’ve been staying in bed all day and trying not to think. It’s not working.

I’m going to go back to sleep.

* * *

16 March 2030

Going back to sleep was a bad idea. I had a nightmare where Not-You was following me to the fountain. I don’t remember if he did anything to me but it was still really scary.

I asked Kyuuta if he’s been seen around lately. He said nobody’s seen him in months, and nobody’s sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. So now I have another thing to be paranoid about.

Kyuuta also said that even though I can’t know where Fuyuhiko is, it could be possible to send him a message. I told him that I’d give him one to send tomorrow. Hopefully the yakuza will be able to get it to him quickly.

I should mention that I haven’t told Kyuuta that I’m an Ultimate, only that I know Fuyuhiko personally. I still don’t feel safe telling people about my Talent. Thankfully not many people outside of Hope’s Peak cared enough to learn my name.

I didn’t realise how much I missed Fuyuhiko. Even though he’s a little hotheaded, he’s a good friend at heart, and I know that he’ll at least send a message back. Who knows, maybe he’ll come find me here. I don’t know if he’s been told someone named Chiaki Nanami’s looking for him or if that’s not very important. Probably not.

So, message tomorrow, we’ll see what happens.

* * *

17 March 2030

I sent my message. Not very lengthy, just saying I’m back in the city and want to get back in touch if possible. Kyuuta said it would probably take one or two days to reach him, so if he sends a reply I’ll probably get it no sooner than Wednesday. I don’t mind waiting that long. RTS games have taught me infinite patience.

~~That’s why I’m okay still waiting for you~~ ~~I know I should stop pretending~~ Waiting is easy. Letting go is hard.

* * *

18 March 2030

I stopped by that bakery again today. It doesn’t really bother me that it’s so far away, it smells amazing. I talked a little with the people working there and they said if I needed a job they might be able to hire me. I told them I would love to work in a bakery, and they said to stop by on Tuesday next week.

That reminds me, I had to finish the cake today. ~~I’m sorry I couldn’t save your piece~~ ~~Stop it, Chiaki~~ Can you tell that my birthday really didn’t go as planned?

* * *

19 March 2030

Today was really hard to process. My mind is so focused on trying to ~~get a grip~~ ~~come back to reality~~ keep thinking about the future that I’m having trouble being present (well, more than usual).

Kyuuta said that my message has probably been delivered by now and we can expect a response by tomorrow or Thursday, unless there’s a hiccup in the chain of command or he decides to ignore it. I told him Fuyuhiko wouldn’t ignore a message from me. I’m not totally sure he believes me.  ~~ If he knew I still lie to myself about you~~ I know Fuyuhiko will reply.

* * *

20 March 2030

No reply today, but that’s not a huge surprise. This is a big city. I’m prepping to go out to the bakery tomorrow and say hello.

Today was worse than yesterday. I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve been staring off into space for hours just trying to get a grip on my own sense of reality, because I’ve been ignoring the truth for way too long and I’m just now trying to break that spell. It hurts so much but I have to, I just have to. Maybe writing it down will help solidify it.

I’m sorry I’ve been lying to  you myself for so long. It’s been three years now since you  ~~ disappeared~~ **died** , I can’t pretend anymore. I have to stop pretending you’re coming back. You were never going to be here for my birthday. You were never going to have a slice of my cake.  **YOU ARE DEAD** **.** **HAJIME HINATA IS DEAD AND HE’S NEVER COMING BACK, CHIAKI** **.**

* * *

21 March 2030

I didn’t go to the bakery. I didn’t see Kyuuta. I stayed in bed all day long and just cried.

I think it was the cake that did it. I fooled myself well enough to hold on to the idea that maybe he would show up, somehow, and just have a slice of cake with me. Something about that not happening just made the illusion crack, and I just started realising I had to stop.

It hurts so much to say it out loud. Hajime Hinata died sometime between March and September of 2027 and was replaced by a complete stranger named Izuru Kamukura, a person filled with every talent ever who has no idea who I am, and the one who might be responsible for causing the Tragedy. The quiet guy from the Reserve Course who played Gala Omega with me at the fountain and only ever wanted to have a talent of his own is never coming back. Hope’s Peak lied to him and killed him.

At least I know he would never have willingly gone through with this. He just wanted to have something that he could be good at. Instead he was erased.

I don’t know how, but I have to get up tomorrow and go to the bakery and I have to find Kyuuta and see if Fuyuhiko replied. I can’t stay here forever. Hajime would be so disappointed if he ever knew I gave up.

I have to be strong. He believed I was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.


	4. Do You Still Wish to Continue?

22 March 2030

Getting out of bed today was harder than any game I’ve ever played. I’ve permadeathed rage-games more easily than this. I’m really hoping it gets easier.

Fuyuhiko sent a reply. Kyuuta got it yesterday. I’m supposed to meet him outside Hope’s Peak tomorrow afternoon. He’s glad I’m back in town.

I went to the bakery. They gave me a free batch of chocolate cookies because they said I looked like I needed them. I had one and it was really tasty, but I don’t know if I want another one right now. I don’t have it in me to enjoy them right.

I’m having trouble not being hard on myself for sucking it up and going through this sooner. Three years is way too long to start actually living with your best friend’s death. But they say there’s no right way to grieve, so…

I’m going to bed.

* * *

23 March 2030

I saw Fuyuhiko today.

\- - - - - -

The chill of the air was sharper than usual when she stepped outside, and she found herself grateful once again for her windbreaker. Her legs were already freezing under the cotton of her pants, and her feet weren’t far behind. She checked her gas mask was properly tightened, and set off towards Hope’s Peak.

The walk was slow, but only because she was having trouble putting one foot in front of the other. Her heart still hurt so painfully. Moving only seemed to make it worse. She wanted so badly for it to stop, she was supposed to be happy right now. Fuyuhiko was coming out to see _her._ He had outright said in his reply, _I’m glad you’re alive._ This was supposed to be a happy day.

“Morning, Chiaki.”

Chiaki turned her head fractionally, and saw Kyuuta out of the corner of her eye. “Hey, Kyuuta.”

“So guess what? I got a message from the boss last night. I’m going to escort you to your meeting spot.”

“That’s nice.”

Chiaki really wished the gas masks covered their eyes too. That way Kyuuta wouldn’t be able to see how sad she was.

“Still feeling blue?” She didn’t reply. “It’s okay. I understand. Some days just don’t feel good no matter what you’re doing.”

She nodded listlessly.

“…So, other than that, how’s it going?”

She tried to come up with a reply, she really did.

“…Not good? Would you rather not talk?”

She nodded.

“Okay.”

They walked in silence. Every so often Kyuuta tried to start talking about something, but without Chiaki’s reactions, he quickly deflated and lapsed back into the quiet. It was depressing, but Chiaki just didn’t have it in her to be herself. In fact, seeing Kyuuta’s feeble attempts at conversation falter just made her feel worse. She almost wanted to tell him to stop.

They reached Hope’s Peak without incident. They approached the gates, and a trio of yakuza stepped out from the other side. “What brings you to Hope’s Peak?” one of them asked Kyuuta.

“I’m here to repair the gates here,” Kyuuta said, gesturing to the warped metal gates.

The yakuza nodded. “Good to hear.”

“Kyuuta, here with Chiaki Nanami,” Kyuuta said, indicating Chiaki with a casual wave of his hand.

“Good. Ms. Nanami, please come with us.”

“I’ll be waiting out here,” Kyuuta said to her. She nodded, and followed the yakuza into the grounds.

They took a rather windy path through the Academy’s campus, going past the fountain, around the main building, until eventually they stopped at the baseball field. There, standing at home plate with a bat in hand, was Fuyuhiko, wearing his same familiar suit, Peko keeping guard just behind the catcher. His back was turned, so she couldn’t see his face, but she noticed a black band curving around his head that wasn’t part of the gas mask. Was it some sort of yakuza headband?

The pitcher threw, and Fuyuhiko swung with vicious speed. The ball whizzed past him, and the _thump_ of it hitting the catcher’s mitt echoed through the diamond. “Fuck!” he swore. “What the hell was that one?!”

“Slider, boss!” the pitcher shouted.

“Damn it!” he snapped. “What’s the count, Peko?”

“Ball two, strike two.”

“Shit shit shit shit,” he cursed, starting to spin in a circle as the catcher tossed the ball back to the pitcher. “Okay, so just don’t fuck up again and I’m good? I can do that…” He trailed off. “…Peko, look who it fuckin’ is.”

Peko followed his gaze. “…Chiaki.”

Chiaki weakly raised her hand and waved at them.

Fuyuhiko dropped his bat. “Okay guys, we’re stopping for now. Someone write down the score and the count!” He gestured to Peko to follow him, and they came out from behind the fence. “Long time no see, you bastard!” he crowed, spreading his arms wide. “Where’ve you been?”

“I’ve been wandering around,” she said, opening up her own arms and accepting his rough embrace.

“Well, it’s pretty damn great to see you again,” he said, clapping her back loudly. “You been doin’ okay?”

“I’ve been better,” she admitted. “Um… what happened to…?” She pointed to her eye.

“Oh, this?” he said, pointing to the patch over his eye. “Some cocky fucker tried to kill me with a bomb. Got sliced by a shard of glass. But I’m a cockroach, I’ll die when I decide it’s time to die.” He glanced over his shoulder at Peko. “She’s been a big help making sure of that, of course.”

“That’s good,” Chiaki said.

“So, where’re you holed up out here?” he asked. “I know you can’t be far from here, but this place is a zoo.”

“I’m in an abandoned house in Otsuka. It’s about 2 hours from here.”

“Wait, really?! I’m down the fuckin’ street from you!”

“You are?”

“Yeah!” He let a loud laugh. “I’m right up in Ikebukuro! That’s fuckin’ great!”

“Really?” She raised her eyebrows. “Kyuuta never told me that.”

“Nah, he didn’t know who you were,” he said, waving his hand dismissively. “Of course, now that we know you’re in our territory, we’ll make extra-sure you’re safe, ‘kay? I owe ya.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Fuyuhiko,” she said, shaking her head.

“Bullshit. You saved my ass, now I’ll make sure you don’t need yours saved.” He rubbed his hands together. “So, I’ll make sure Kyuuta keeps a close watch on you, and I’ll start sending you money so you don’t have to worry about stayin’ alive, okay?”

“Fuyuhiko, seriously, it’s okay,” she protested weakly. “I’m already getting a job at a bakery not far from me.”

“Chiaki, you’re not gonna stop me. It’s my responsibility to look after my friends, whether they think they need it or not. I need to pay you back somehow.”

She shook her head. “I don’t need money, okay?”

“Then what _do_ you need?” he asked. “Come on, there must be _something_ I can get for you.”

“Just… stay alive. That’s all,” she said, resting her hand on his shoulder. “Knowing you’re around is all I really need from you. I don’t need your help.”

“…Are you _sure?”_ he said.

“I’m sure. Promise.”

He didn’t look entirely satisfied, but he nodded. “Okay. But the second you need anything, I want you to let me know. I’m payin’ you back one way or another, Nanami.”

She nearly laughed at his use of her last name. It was such a familiar thing for him to say. “I’ll let you know.”

“Good.” He grabbed her by the shoulders. “I’m pretty fucking happy to see you, y’know.”

“Me too.”

“…You wanna join in?” he asked, awkwardly pointing to the baseball diamond.

“No thanks.”

“Okay. Then, uh, I’d better get back in. Can’t stay out here forever.” He let go. “I’ll catch ya sometime soon, ‘kay?”

“Sounds good.”

“Alright. Good to see you again. Stay safe!”

“I will.”

He slowly sauntered away, and Peko gave her a stiff wave before following him.

\- - - - - -

It was good to see him again. He’s doing well.

I didn’t really do anything else today.

* * *

24 March 2030

It rained today, so I haven’t been able to get outside. I have no rain gear. I stayed inside and played Sudoku until the grid started to do that thing where it isn’t a grid anymore. Then I slept some more.

I also had a few of those cookies. They’re really really tasty.

* * *

 

25 March 2030

Bakery tomorrow. Bakery tomorrow. Bakery tomorrow.  Do not forget the bakery tomorrow, Nanami.

* * *

26 March 2030

I didn’t forget the bakery. I had a quick sit-down interview with the owner. It went well. Her name is Keiri. She looks like she could be Mikan’s daughter, except she has really bright pink hair instead of dark purple. She’s also a lot more easygoing. I’m supposed to come back on Friday for another interview, because she had some more questions to ask that we didn’t get to, but she sounded like she liked me, so I’m crossing my fingers.

That’s enough writing for one day

* * *

27 March 2030

I finished the cookies. This time they actually made me feel a little better.

Kyuuta’s doing okay. He’s been sticking a lot closer to my house since Monday, which is nice. It means I don’t have to go too far to find him. It’s still kinda lonely this close to Hope’s Peak, so having regular humans around is hard to come by. He says Fuyuhiko says that the offer to pay for my things is still open. I said I still don’t need it, but thanks. And to say hi to Peko since I never actually said hi to her which I suddenly feel really bad about

I think I need to stop thinking. It’s hurting my head.

* * *

28 March 2030

It’s really weird how being depressed makes it hard to do simple stuff. I’ve barely written anything this week. But it’s just really hard now. I’m doing it out of habit at this point.

It’s stupid but I think I’m also doing it because I still pretend I’ll be able to show this to Hajime one day. As if I could erase the demon that stole his body and put him back in it.

Go to sleep, Chiaki.


	5. Your Mana Is Too Low To Cast That Spell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of these days maybe there'll be something resembling a ray of sunshine in this story. For now, overcast is the best I can hope for.

29 March 2030

Finished the interview with Keiri. She said she’d really like to have me working at the bakery. I told her I could start whenever, so she said Wednesday morning. She sent me back with a basket full of chocolate croissants and told me to share them with Kyuuta. Thanks, Keiri. They taste really good.

Speaking of Kyuuta, he told me that Fuyuhiko wanted to keep in regular contact with me now that we know where each other is. I said that would be okay. Maybe Fuyuhiko knows where the others are?  ~~ Or where ~~ I’ll ask.

I’m going to go play Animal Crossing until I pass out. Goodnight.

 

30 March 2030

30/3/30. If I’d remembered on the 3rd it would be 03/3/30 and that would’ve been a palindrome. I’ll remember in April.

I bit the bullet: I asked Kyuuta to find out if Fuyuhiko knows where Kamukura is. Once again, minimum three days to get a response. Hopefully we can work out something quicker than letters. I’ve gotten sort of used to everything being about twelve times slower than before, but it’s still a pain. The headdesk kind.

Kyuuta also really likes the chocolate croissants. I’m gonna have to make a point of bringing him stuff so he and his family have something nice waiting for them at the end of the day.  ~~ One of us has to be happy. ~~

I forgot to mention I’ve stopped going to the fountain. Although I did go up to our old classroom last week, and I saw the strangest thing: there was a pot of flowers on my old desk. I have no idea why they’re there or who put them there. They were blue sumire. I don’t know much about flowers, but I’m assuming they must mean something. I hope they aren’t meant for grieving, because I’m not dead and I really don’t want someone thinking I am. If they are then I have to find out who put them there ASAP and let them know. I know how it feels to grieve and I don’t want someone else going through that without having to.

This got really dark, I’m going to stop before I get really sad.

 

31 March 2030

Nothing really interesting to talk about today. I said hi to Kyuuta, I played some games, I went for a walk around town. One or two days until Fuyuhiko’s response comes. Still feeling really sad. The blue sumire are still there. Same ones as last week.

 

1 April 2030

Response from Fuyuhiko: “No idea where the fucker is right now but we’ll keep an eye out for him. Stay safe.”

On the subject of faster communication: “Yeah, I’m trying to figure something out. I’ll let you know.”

Where everyone else is: “All I know is that Mikan and Teruteru are still in the city. Mikan’s sticking with me in Ikebukuro, Teruteru’s about a mile from us. I think Gundham is camped out on Mt. Fuji, and Nagito might be in Hiroshima. Everyone else is MIA.” So that’s 5-7 of 16 classmates accounted for, counting me, him, and Peko. That’s a little less than half of us.

Blue sumire are gone. I guess they were starting to wilt. They looked kinda limp yesterday. Now it’s red asagao. I don’t know what those symbolise either. Who knows, they might just be there because whoever picked them thought they were pretty.

I’m going to sleep.

 

2 April 2030

Tomorrow I’m off to the bakery for my first day. I have to get up early to be there on time, so I ran about 3 miles before I got back here to get tired. It was pouring outside and I feel gross but what else is new. I guess the fact that I can run 3 miles is new, old!Chiaki would’ve passed out before the halfway point.

I really need to stop going back to Hope’s Peak but those flowers are really nagging at me. Not sure what to do. I’d really like to know who’s putting them there.

 

3 April 2030

Day 1 can be marked in the log as a success. I didn’t make a complete fool of myself and everybody seemed to think I was okay to be around. Keiri said she thinks I’ll do good there. Since it’s so far away she says she’ll schedule me for the afternoons to give me enough time to get there. Right now I’m just shadowing the other employees and trying stuff out, nothing with actual consequence yet, but that won’t last very long.

I think it was nice.

Kyuuta came down with a bit of a cold from all the rain yesterday, but he says he’ll be over it quickly. I hope he feels better soon.

That’s really all the important stuff. Goodnight.

 

4 April 2030

Day 2 can also be marked as a success. I had to run to get home before it got too dark, but that’s kinda unavoidable. I don’t want to mention it to Fuyuhiko, because I know he’ll insist on helping out, but it’s a bit of a pain. I’ve been through worse, I need to suck it up.

Today’s bakery treat is cinnamon rolls. Keiri says it’s because I seem like one. Not sure how to feel about being compared to a cinnamon roll.

Kyuuta wasn’t here today. His temporary replacement said that cold was unexpectedly strong, and so he went to Mikan to get some stronger medicine. Nothing serious, and I really really hope it stays that way, I don’t want to have to deal with more bad stuff right now.

Those asagao are holding out. When they start wilting I’m going to camp out there and wait for whoever’s putting them there to show up.

Chiaki out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C'est vraiment étrange pour moi aussi parce que je sais pas aussi pourquoi il y a des fleurs là, ça c'est quelque chose je dois determiner...


	6. You Are Not Allowed To Access This Area Yet

5 April 2030

Today wasn’t really eventful. Day 3, another success. I spent most of it learning recipes. It made me want to get an oven of my own so I can start making these at home. Wherever “home” is anymore.

I started this new game today called The Talos Principle. It’s entirely in English, no subs, so it’s testing my fluency, which is good. It’s a pretty old game, but it’s interesting so far. Puzzles, logic, very philosophical. Nice graphics. 

Kyuuta’s back. He says he’s feeling better than yesterday, which is good. I gave him some cinnamon rolls to take home with him and told him to feel better soon.

Spent most of the evening just lying in bed. I don’t know what to do with myself.

* * *

6 April 2030

One of the biggest problems the Tragedy caused was the food crisis. It’s getting better, but it’s not totally fixed yet. So the bakery uses equal parts processed stuff from before and fresh ingredients. So it’s a bit weird trying to keep track of what things are made with what.

Didn’t get a chance to meet up with Kyuuta today. Just sort of went straight home and died after work. Being an introvert in food service is a one-way ticket to exhaustion.

The plot thickens in The Talos Principle. Got out of World A and Elohim is telling me that I’m not supposed to go into the Tower he’s built that seems to go up into some ominous stormclouds. I’m gonna go into the Tower. (I’ve noticed it’s a very Western-religion-based game. Lots of influences from Christianity.)

No updates on the flowers yet.

* * *

7 April 2030

It rained again and this time I fell flat on my face coming home. I got myself cleaned up but it’s pretty nasty. It’ll take a few days before my face isn’t totally made of scabs.

Sorry, not feeling up to a recount of today right now. I’m going to sleep.

* * *

8 April 2030

My face is slightly better. And it didn’t rain today, so I didn’t fall again. I’m still not taking any chances, though. Keiri gave me a first-aid kit to take home so I can patch myself up at home instead of having to buy stuff.

~~ I just realised I have no idea if there’s emergency services here~~. Let’s not think about that right now, Chiaki.

World A complete. I think I’m going to complete B and C before I go into the Tower. Unless that won’t let me? Wish the Internet was working so I could find out.

Oh, I’m an idiot, I know Mikan Tsumiki. I can ask Kyuuta to get me to her if I really need help. Crisis averted!

Cinnamon rolls consumed. I feel like I’m eating them half because I want to and half because I know I need to eat to survive. Does that make sense, random person I’m talking to?

Still no flower news.

* * *

9 April 2030

I missed it! I missed it! The flowers got replaced! I thought they’d be there until they wilted but they were gone today! Now it’s sakurasou! Whatever that means!

Who’s putting them there???

I’ll just have to be there by blind luck, I guess. Where’s Nagito when you need him? (Right, Hiroshima.)

Ugh… I like mystery games, but not actual mysteries!

The plot keeps on thickening. Hopefully next time I’ll catch whoever’s doing this.

* * *

10 April 2030

Nothing really interesting today. Starting to fall into a routine of some sort: Wake up, go to the bakery, work for a few hours, walk home, say hi to Kyuuta, play video games, sleep. Somewhere in there, find time to check the flowers.

This sounds like some sort of post-apocalyptic RPG character’s daily routine, seriously.

Got a letter from Fuyuhiko today. He says he’s working on a way to be able to communicate a bit more easily. Hopefully it works out.

My face is doing a lot better. Though there’s scabs now, and it’s really hard to not pick at them.

I feel like I’m checking the flowers more out of sheer curiosity at this point. Like, yeah, I wanna tell whoever’s putting them there I’m okay, but who’s doing it? It’s driving me nuts.

* * *

11 April 2030

Today’s bakery take-home treat: crescent rolls. Soft and buttery. For now.

World B is completed. The Milton Library Assistant is trying to make me contradict myself in my attempts to explain consciousness to it. I’ve decided to headcanon it as GLaDOS’s snarky little brother. Both sassy, not 100% on my team, more interested in something I’m giving them than my actual self.

Jerks.

Speaking of sass: I heard from Fuyuhiko that Mahiru’s been located. She’s in Saitama right now, working her way back to here. So that means 6-8 of us are accounted for. Potentially half. That’s good.

No flower news. I’m keeping my eyes peeled this time around.

My face is still healing alright. Soon it should be back to normal.

I’m super tired. G’night.


	7. Lost Internet Connection. Reconnecting...

12 April 2030

Update: Crescent rolls are still pretty soft. I had some for breakfast.

It was busy at the bakery today. Keiri says it tends to get busier as summer approaches. Apparently it used to get even more customers before the Tragedy. Then again, it’s probably good that business is slow, since resources are low.

I didn’t finish The Talos Principle today. I played RIME instead. Then I spent a few minutes crying because of the ending. That game is a tear-jerker.

The scabs on my face are starting to fall off. It’s nice to know that soon I won’t have dried blood all over my face. I’m also glad the wounds didn’t get infected.

Didn’t stop by Hope’s Peak today. Didn’t have the energy. I promise I’ll go tomorrow.

* * *

13 April 2030

Okay, I lied. I didn’t go to Hope’s Peak. I promise, I promise, promise, I’ll go tomorrow morning.

It was really cold today. That’s part of the reason I didn’t go to Hope’s Peak, the other reason being that I actually forgot. The bakery was nice and warm, though, which was nice. It helps that there’s ovens and things like that to keep the air heated up. They also have a heater.

I played the English version of Undertale today. Neutral and Pacifist runs only. Trying to keep up my fluency would be a lot more difficult if I didn’t have so many Western games.

**Chiaki, remember to go to Hope’s Peak tomorrow.**

* * *

14 April 2030

The flowers haven’t changed yet.

I put in a little time doing The Talos Principle today. Finished World C. The puzzles aren’t hard, exactly, but it’s hard to concentrate lately. The existential crises it gives me don’t help.

Update from Fuyuhiko: “We’re gonna try out walkie-talkies. We’ve got some that have a 5km range. I’ll have your guy bring them over on Monday. Hope you’re safe. Things should start getting better around town soon.” I wonder what exactly that means.

It’s Saturday, so no bakery today. I didn’t remember this. Keiri said it would’ve been funny if she wasn’t worried about me. I told her that I always forgot what day it was even before the Tragedy. She laughed a little at that. I told her I would remember not to come in tomorrow. I got a slice of chocolate cake for dessert.

* * *

15 April 2030

I remembered not to come in today. I stayed at home most of the day except to say hi to Kyuuta. He’s doing okay. I told him I’d bring him whatever I get sent home with tomorrow from the bakery. He laughed and said that I would fatten him up if I kept spoiling him. I’m glad I got to see him smile.

I took a break from games today. I could feel myself starting to fall back into my old pattern of vanishing into them again. Still no escaping DP/DR, even after the collapse of modern society.

I just remembered Golden Week is coming up. But I doubt anybody will be closed.

* * *

16 April 2030

Angel’s food cake: get.

Walkie-talkie: get.

Flowers: unchanged.

I tested out the walkie-talkie. It works. Now I have a direct line to Fuyuhiko. It was good to hear his voice again. He says things are going to start moving more quickly around town. He’s starting work on fixing up the city. I wished him the best of luck.

I noticed something weird about the gates of Hope’s Peak today. On Saturday they were apart, but today they were stacked together just outside the entrance. Fuyuhiko says he has no idea why that is. I’ll let him know if anything changes.

I miss my classmates. I hope they’re okay.

* * *

17 April 2030

Today was uneventful. I don’t know whether that’s good or bad, because uneventful usually means it’s either going to be uneventful for a while and I’ll get stuck in a rut again or things are going to get really eventful really fast. I don’t know which I’d prefer.

I just got off the walkie-talkie with Fuyuhiko. It sounds like he’s been pretty busy pretty much all the last two years or so. We’re slowly getting caught up, but I can tell it’ll take a while to get through his side. My story’s a lot less interesting than his.

Keiri’s doing well. So is Kyuuta. I’m feeling a bit better than yesterday.

Here’s hoping tomorrow is better too.

* * *

18 April 2030

**TODAY WAS A REALLY EVENTFUL DAY.**

**I THINK I MIGHT’VE SEEN WHO WAS CHANGING THE FLOWERS.**

**BUT I COULDN’T CATCH THEM.**

**THIS IS THE CLOSEST I’VE COME TO FIGURING IT OUT.**

**MY HEART IS STILL POUNDING OH MY GODS.**

**THEY HAD REALLY LONG BLACK HAIR AND I THINK THEY WERE WEARING A SUIT. THAT’S ALL I COULD FIGURE OUT.**

**HERE’S HOPING I CATCH THEM NEXT WEEK.**


End file.
